Lyrics, for Dr. Hackenbush

CHORUS:
So this is Dr. Hackenbush, the famous medico,
You're welcome, Dr. Hackenbush...

HACKENBUSH:
If that's the case, I'll go

CHORUS:
Oh, no, you mustn't go...

HACKENBUSH
Who said I mustn't go?
The only reason that I came is so that I can go.

I'm Dr. Hackenbush,
My medical standing's very high,
Well, anyways, ladies and gentlemen, I
am Dr. Hackenbush

CHORUS
He's Dr. Hackenbush...

HACKENBUSH:
I'm Dr. Hackenbush,
As a matter of fact, to be exact,
I'm Dr. Hackenbush!

FEMALE SINGER (Judy?)
I'm sure that they'd all like to hear,
Some facts about your great career

HACKENBUSH
Although my horn I hate to blow,
There's one thing that you ought to know:

I'm Dr. Hackenbush
Which all my friends will verify
Well, anyways ladies and gentlemen, I
am Dr. Hackenbush

CHORUS:
He's Dr. Hackenbush

HACKENBUSH
I'm Dr. Hackenbush,
You never would guess, but nevertheless
I'm Dr. Hackenbush!

For ailments abdominal, my charges are nominal
Though I'm great for I've a rate for tonsillectomy,
Sick and healthy, poor and wealthy, come direct to me
"Oh, God bless you!" they yell
When I send them home well,
But they never, no they never, send a check to me.

I've won acclaim for curing ills, both in the north and south,
You'll find my name just like my pills in everybody's mouth;
I've never lost a case...

CHORUS:
He's never lost a case...

HACKENBUSH:
I've lost a lot of patients, but I've never lost a case!

My diagnosis never fails, I know just what to do,
Whenever anybody ails, I'm sympathetic too,
My heart within me melts...

CHORUS:
His heart within him melts...

HACKENBUSH:
No matter what I treat 'em for, they die from something else.

When your nerves start to rock, put your faith in your doc,
When you're sick he will stick to the end,
With the possible exception of your mother,
A doctor's a man's best friend!

CHORUS:
Yes, a doctor's a man's best friend!

HACKENBUSH:
A doctor's a man's best friend, whoa-oh,
A doctor's a man's best friend,

HACKENBUSH & CHORUS:
A doctor is a man's best friend!

HACKENBUSH:
Right or wrong, wrong or right,
Night and day, day and night,
On his call you can always depend;
With the possible exception of your mother and your father
And your uncles and your brothers and your nephews and your nieces
And your sisters and your cousins, whom you number by the dozens...

HACKENBUSH & CHORUS:
A doctor's a man's best friend!

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